The past few days of my life have been nothing but messy. I have felt as if the minutes have been flying by at such a fast pace, leaving no time for me to catch my breath. My mind and my heart have simply felt… cluttered. The end of a season in my life is very near (summer), and the beginning of a new one is about to start (my junior year of college). I love change, but my heart takes longer than most to adapt.
Recently, I have found myself yearning to hear the Lord’s voice. Although I spent time with Him reading my bible, praying and doing devotionals, still, I was unable to grasp what He wanted to teach me… until I started writing to Him in my prayer journal. I have recently realized that writing to the Lord is one of the ways I hear Him the most. Writing gives me a sense of calmness that I have never felt before.
I had had a really bad day and nothing but negative thoughts were flooding my mind. How could I get rid of the negativity the enemy feeds into my mind daily, hourly? How can I search for the Lord with my entire soul given to Him and Him alone when this world never stops moving and going at a busy pace? All I had left was to cry out to Jesus, and He answered with a simple verse:
“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10
I have never fully understood the term “be still” until a couple months ago, but I haven’t truly felt the weight of this verse until last night. I finally sat down in my bed very late in the evening and gave all of my attention to the Lord, turning every sound off but His voice.
When I wrote all of my pent up emotions out in my prayer journal that night, He responded with nothing but positivity:
“You are seen. You are known. You are worthy of love. You are beautiful. You are one of a kind. You are understood. You are not looked down on- you are looked up to. You are faithful. You are kind. You are worth more than anything this world has to offer. You have passion. You are driven, You seek love and can find it here, right here with me. Open up your heart to all of the beautiful things I have to show you. Draw near to me and I will draw near to you. The closer we are together- the more J O Y you will have. Trust me. You experience true joy in my presence. Just say my name and I am here…
I am always here. I never leave you. Fix your eyes on me and you will never be lost.”
Those are the simple yet heart-shakingly beautiful things He brought to my mind.
I realized that all He ever wants from me is to be still and look to Him during times of stress and chaos. He doesn’t want my cluttered heart; He wants my open and free heart, leaving all my confusion and doubt in His hands.
How wonderful it is to know that no one and nothing on this earth can break the love our Savior has for us. Sometimes all it takes is to throw all the negative thoughts cooped up in our hearts out the window and simply SEEK Him in the moments of busyness and brokenness.
With this being said, I want to encourage you are going through the same type of in-between-seasons stress. The Lord looks at you daily and says those things about you, too. He sees you as His child and He longs for you to cry out to Him in times of distress and need. He wants you to fill yourself with His love daily… and only His love. Because once you have Him, everything else will fall into place.
He longs for you to come home to his loving arms, all you have to do is be still in his presence.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”